Thankfully, it’s not a Leap Year, so I’m taking tomorrow off! I love not working, and have been writing mostly for you, while also trying to create a job I like more than most. I’ve decided to make next month Writing Month. So those of you who only care about love-making can take the month off. By the way, my ethical celibacy is intact; I think some in work think something else when I write positively about women; they miss the whole point of my ethical celibacy: to be nice to women without reward! And it’s worked. I love myself more than ever now!! When I wrote ‘was I Too Fast for Love?’ referencing the Motley Crue album I was talking about walking past them; walking past love as I’ve written before!!!
I should have written ‘communal’ booze rather than ‘free’ too in a recent post. I took the regular eight cans, but am a self-confessed bingeaholic, and didn’t usually stop until running out, or falling over. They sent me out into a freezing snow-on-the-ground winter night from there, miles from home, although saying they’d put me in a taxi. I didn’t feel too alive when I woke the next morning. It’s something that’s happened all my life, but my disdain that time was exacerbated by one of them; a pseudo-alpha hippy!; accusing me of drinking from the big table full of booze!
I’ve been trying to take my PhD and writing seriously the last dozen years, but my ‘friends’, ‘colleagues’ and even ‘tutors’ were either trying to lead me astray or disrupt me. Sometimes I still wanted to flirt with wildness, but not much, and not most of the time; putting my writing first and way above enjoying socialising.
I even started drinking at home, to write my thoughts down, more interested in my own mind than conversation… which I usually wouldn’t remember after a certain amount of alcohol anyway. I wanted to go as deep into my subconscious as possible, like the great philosophers, poets and writers; that’s why I care about my writing, and am so protective of it: because it is me and my mind, recording for history, hopefully helping create a better future. I was willing to lose my mind, erase or destroy it, like Nietzsche may have done; searching, researching: releasing, writing; out and in, up and down, swirling all around, ideas from the deep, inspirations from the high, warnings from the low. No pain, no gain, exercising the brain!
As a special end of month reward, here’s Love’s last scene from XaW Files, deep in the epic ending of Chapter 9 Episode 20, but not all of the episode. The Arkangel was named after an angelic women I once saw walking out of the Ark clothes chop. An unknown AAW, representing all high street honeys (FHM magazine feature: more greenYgrey example from the website below):
Water, Water, Every Were
The torrent of water was fast approaching, and there looked no escape.
‘Ahoy me hearties,’ I heard a familiar voice shout. ‘Ahoy me hearties, join us aboard The Arkangel.
Sail away with me,
to tranquil turquoise sea,
filled with coral and life,
away from human strife.’
I looked over and saw it was Captain Dec, being poetic, on the deck of a new ship. It sounded like an offer too good to refuse, and Dai was already heading in the direction of the ship, hand in hand with Stella, looking as if he couldn’t wait to get back on the seas. It seemed as if there was a vole running between them. Was it Love? Yes, I think it was, leading Lovus and Lovulus behind her.
‘Nice ship!’ I shouted to Dec.
‘Just something I’ve been putting together in my spare time,’ replied Dec. ‘Are you coming along, recalling that Sail Away With Me song?’
‘Not this time, my ol’ captain,’ I replied. ‘I think this story must end here.’
‘Will there be another one?’ asked Love.
‘I think there may have to be Love, I think there may have to be. Go now my travel buddies, with my Love, while you still have time, and let this be our last rhyme… for this story at least.’
‘Goodbye greenY,’ they all shouted, for we were now back together, as they sailed into the new POP ART sunset. As they reached the horizon, the pinky orange purple was replaced by green northern lights in the grey haze sky, with yellow sunlight still visible.
I felt at home once again.
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You Are The Boss of Your Own Happiness: 50 Ways to Change Your Life Today by Theo Kay. $3.99 from Smashwords.com
50 Ideas for you to change your life today. You are the boss of your own HAPPINESS!