Palenque: UFO Space Ship or World Tree?

As seen in this video the inscription found in the Palenque Mayan temple has been explained with a great greenYgrey theory of it being a spaceship, hundreds of years ago, by conspiracy writers.

However, as I’ve just made my own way up into space; well, last year actually, as readers of my terrific trilogy will know; the more rational explanation in this video seems more likely… despite the greenYgreyness of the depicted spaceship:

The World Tree is a universal theme in many cultures around the world, and was a central theme in the 2006 movie The Fountain.

The rising of the greenYgrey middle Y has tree connotations, that became apparent during the epic classic XaW Files: Beyond Humanity, which in its most grandiose ambitions, aimed for the majestic intricacy of films like The Fountain, exploring the mysteries of the world and universe, while keeping one foot on the ground; kind of like programmes such as NASA’s Unexplained Files showing UFO footage and having a variety of conspiracy and rational explanations, leaving the viewer to form their own opinion.

Available to buy or borrow on Amazon and some great big bookshops.

You Are The Boss of Your Own Happiness: 50 Ways to Change Your Life Today by Theo Kay. $3.99 from

Surfing Serotonin Specks, Sleep Space ‘Scape… Landscape Escape

Dear AAW, greenYgreyliens and POPolutionaries,

Had a nice flight, settling in well, weather’s lovely, lots of sun, no hell below us, above us only peace, great views, seeing lots of stars, the world really does seem like my oyster up here!

When I have a moment, I remember the sky from Earth (but peace above is nicer!), a lot of the nature and life, scenic extravaganzas and sacred epiphanies… and AAWl of you of course, with Love… the mixed-up vole.

W.Y.W.H., POPgYg

Available to buy or borrow on Amazon and some great big bookshops.

You Are The Boss of Your Own Happiness: 50 Ways to Change Your Life Today by Theo Kay. $3.99 from

Blog post inspired by story this morning.

Forest Green Promotion for Vegetarian Week, Nadal and Hamilton Win Again

Forest Green Rovers won promotion to the Football League on the weekend, in time for national vegetarian week, becoming both the club from the smallest population catchment area in the Football League, and the greenest. They are owned by Ecotricity’s Dale Vince, and have won promotion on a vegan diet. They plan a new eco stadium now.

Parody Satirical Comedy with Real Sporting News

Moreover, they play in great greenYgrey, starting a parody satirical comedy round-up with real news:

There was a lot of greenYgreying going on when they won promotion:

Forest Green Rovers supportersScreenshot (202)

Sporting Nostalgia: Rafa Nadal and Lewis Hamilton

While Forest Green Rovers are hopefully pioneering a green future for football, and appeared on the greenYgrey for the first time today, a couple of greats from greenYgrey sport were on form at the weekend too.

Rafa Nadal, the werewolf representative in the eternal battle with vampires, represented by Roger Federer, won the Madrid Open with some great gYgPOPing:

Rafael Nadal

Also in Spain, Lewis Hamilton won the Barcelona Grand Prix, in the city of Marc Latham’s fourth marathon in 2013. Hamilton updated the old Mercedes greenYgrey look with a yellow helmet, and combined some great greenYgreying with his crucial passing manoeuvre against arch rival Sebastian Vettel of Ferrari:

Vettel defends from Hamilton

Available to buy or borrow on Amazon and some great big bookshops.

You Are The Boss of Your Own Happiness: 50 Ways to Change Your Life Today by Theo Kay. $3.99 from

Best Literature of 2017 same as 2016: Artistic Self-Parody Yellowism Worthy

I know it’s greedy, and disheartening to other writers, but due to the continuing serialisation of XaW Files: Beyond Humanity, I can’t help claiming the Best Literature of 2017 award three days into the new year. That is a little self-parody, as I know there are many great writers out there, but I do really think I’m up there with the greats… especially as the penultimate (last but one) episode of Chapter 5’s twenty, in line with the X-Files series, is quite a classic.

Slovenia Episode Introduction

The episode includes a few references of real people and places, from the present and past, or the fantasy story and real world, as it reaches Ljubljana, which is now the capital of Slovenia, and in 1987 was my first stop in the then Yugoslavia.

Then it mixes fantasy warm relaxing with Love the mixed-up vole and Stella with facts about Slovenia, mostly about its impressive environmental credentials. It also remembers the central themes of 3s and coincidence to the third book of the greenYgrey trilogy.

Having passed through the homes of Yellowism, a movement that received media attention after they damaged a painting, in previous chapters without remembering it, reading about Wolfgang Paalens’s DYN surrealist art movement brought them to the surface, and would soon lead me to discovering Marcel Duchamp’s disposable art, with the centennial anniversary of his most famous toilet to fountain artwork this year, 2017.

A video called Series 9, with nine beautiful women, also made me start to like Yellowism! There are of course 9 chapters in this book, mirroring the X-Files number of series at the time. There is some greenygrey scenery in the Series 9 video, and one of the creation myths of the greenYgrey is that it is a beach wolf, and the sun dyed its fur green!!

It also made me remember one of my self-parody comedy declarations: an ordinary woman’s proper place may be chained to the stove in the kitchen, but a beautiful woman’s place is on the beach! It was a joke, playing on an old sexist term I don’t agree with, but I do think the beach is an ideal place for a frolicking beautiful woman.

Yellowism Coincidence

The chronology of greenYgrey and Yellowism is that my focus on green and grey preceded Yellowism’s focus on yellow, and my rising of the greenYgrey Y was partly a reaction to what I thought might have been their usurpation of my artistic creative idea. The rising of the Y also had other reasons, such as the sun and female blonde hair.

This video promoting the Yellowist manifesto was made years after the Greenygrey was launched. Is the green and grey framing of the yellow a coincidence, or an artistic salute?:

Chapter 5 Episode 19

‘It was tempting to take the top fork straight to Austria wasn’t it, missing out a couple of episodes and getting ahead of schedule, but I’m glad we kept to the plan now, as Ljubljana is lovely isn’t it.’

‘It sure is,’ Love answered me, ‘and it’s made us feel right at home hasn’t it.’

‘It absolutely has,’ agreed Stella, ‘the Ljub sounds like Love, the double Js are like greenYgrey Gs and the ljana ending reminds me of my name.’

‘Yes, I think you’re right there Stella Love, and those Js a jangling have just reminded me of Jurgita Jurkute back in Chapter 2 Lithuania. With a long storyline in this chapter seemingly concluded it would have been easy to carry straight on, but I’m sure Slovenia has a lot to offer, and it’s already started well, with nearly half a page written in no time! And I haven’t even mentioned how helpful the Zagreb g-zebra actually was!!’

Slow Living in Slovenia

‘Yes, I still feel a little dizzy from being bowled over,’ said Love. ‘It’ll probably be a good idea to take a rest day, although there’s so much to see and do it is difficult to put my paws up and relax.’

‘It’d be nice to find a fashion show or concert for tonight,’ Stella said.

‘I just searched Ljubljana nightlife,’ I said, ‘and it sounds like there’s a good night on at Orto, with Hulahoop and The Clueless playing.’

‘That sounds ideal,’ said Stella, ‘I might go and check out the shops, and get a new outfit for tonight.’

‘Cool,’ I said, ‘have a nice time in Slovenia, and see you later.’ Love didn’t say anything, so I looked up at Stella, who was already on her way out. Stella had her finger up to her mouth, as if telling me to be quiet.

I thought there might be some new danger visiting us, like another vampire.

Surreal Sentences Precede Pivotal Problem

However, when I looked at Love I saw why Stella was asking me to hush. Our mixed-up vole friend was spark out with its paws up, and was now eliciting snoozy snoring.

With Stella out shopping and Love out for the count I got down to some researching about Ljubljana and Slovenia, and it took me in a direction past the first five chapters of this book, and all the way back to Grey’s epic Werewolf of Oz; which I think is still just ahead of this one in classicity.

I started off reading Wikipedia, while listening to Nirvana, and wasn’t surprised to read that Slovenia is over fifty per-cent forested, making it the third most forested in Europe after Sweden and Finland. Then I read it was divided in three by Axis countries in World War Two. Moreover, there are also three winds of particular regional importance: the bora, the jugo, and the foehn.

I was beginning to think Slovenia is a country of trees and threes, but then I saw it isn’t the third most water-rich in Europe: it’s the first. Moreover, mysterious olms live underwater in its caves. They are salamanders related to American mudpuppies.

I found it all quite surreal, and then found surrealism has quite a history in Slovenia.

End of Chapter Middle Remembers Beginning

Wolfgang Paalen of course caught my attention, evoking images of a pack of wolves running free on the paw.

Paalen was also a very interesting person to me, being a bipolar world traveller thinker and writer. He painted some great greenYgrey pictures, and published a surrealist magazine called DYN in exile from the Axis 1940s occupation.

There is of course a Y in the middle of DYN, and one of the main underlying notions of DYN was the attempt to reconcile diverging materialist and mystical tendencies in Surrealism with a new art-philosophy of contingency.

Contingency not only has a y on its end, as greenYgrey does, remembering our less prestigious but no less important second y, but its definition also has a greenYgreyesque meaning in philosophy and logic: ‘contingency is the status of propositions that are neither true under every possible valuation (i.e. tautologies) nor false under every possible valuation (i.e. contradictions).’

Of course, Paalen’s contingency theory preceded greenYgrey in the human world by many moons, and were (our) theory, if were exist at all, is simply a twenty-first century addition; although conceived entirely separately, and only joining the Wolfgang theory now.

Remembering a Movement that Emerged After

The surrealist information and Y relevance made me think back to the rise of our Y, and how it was partly – for we are a concept of many parts in more ways than one – in reaction to the Yellowist movement, and how they seemed to be using a similar all encompassing concept to what we were doing with greenygrey, but focusing only on yellow.

So I looked up Yellowism, and a video of The History of the Manifesto of Yellowism was all about a greenYgrey hallway and door, with a yellow line in the middle of green and grey on the floor leading to yellow on a door with green and grey walls.

One of the videos it led to was Series Nine. It featured nine 10/10 women on a greenYgrey beach, with the ending featuring sequential captions: nine girls – nine names – nine yellowistic chambers – S9.

I had little time for Yellowism when it emerged into the human world many moons after us, and I had forgotten about it when passing through its origins in Eastern Europe, travelling instead on the classic social realism of Maxim Gorky. Until now, in the last country of this epic ramble that was behind the Cold War Iron Curtain, although Yugoslavia was relatively independent of Moscow.

Now I felt myself falling into it… falling in love with it… falling in love with the nine yellowistic chambers… my Y was being drawn in like a divining-rod magnet, with green and grey being sucked in after it.

It feels like the gravitational pull of a black hole… only this is nine yellowistic chambers… disarming all our resistance to yellowism. Take us to the greenYgrey beach, where the trees are green and the girls are pretty… where is my Love… not asleep behind me… it’s in the nine yellowistic chambers… I lose myself looking for new love… I’m breaking up…

My other senses recover one last time on the journey, just long enough to hear ominous music, sounding like a warning… creating a contrast like that between good and evil in many ancient texts… but the gravitational energy is too strong to resist… my other letters have followed my Y past the event horizon… round and round we go, like being rooted to a radical rollercoaster… and then I am all consumed in Yellowism…

Has the greenYgrey been reduced to Yellowism? Tune into the next thrilling episode…

Available to buy or borrow on Amazon and some great big bookshops.

2017 Year of GREENERY Officially

Since the greenYgrey Y rose like a phoenix from flames, tree from earth, chick flying the nest or Werewolf of Oz spirit from body and mind, there seems to have been an upsurge in interest in luminous or neon green, such as in sports kits and shoes. I suggested the bright yellowy green was shortened to greenY from those longer two-word descriptions.


This is a little self-parody blog filler post, with a little relevant 2017 news, between weighty satirical comedy of XaW Files episodes.

Pantone Colour of the 2017 Year

So I was delighted to read in the Metro newspaper on December 9th last year, that Pantone’s colour of the year for 2017 is greenery. Perhaps fittingly, one of the images they used as an example was a mug of what looks like coffee, with the greenYgrey often fuelled by coffilosophy: a new word concept founded by me, a real Doctor of Philosophy.


I think Pantone could have cut greenery down to greenY, and used a more yellowy green colour in the example mug, as greenery is described as a ‘vibrant green with yellow undertones’, but I don’t want to appear to be splitting hairs, or appearing hyper-critical.

Pantone has chosen a colour of the year since 1999, and greenery has been chosen as it is fresh and zesty. Vice-president Laurie Pressman is reported in the article as saying greenery has ‘been there during times of bold change’ such as the suffragette movement in the 1920s and psychedelic 1960s: two decades and movements also influential on the greenYgrey and current POPolution!

Ironically, Pantone shocked everybody by choosing two colours last year, as the Greenygrey was originally, and one of them was pink, as in POP (PinkyOrangePurple), but the other was blue.

Available to buy or borrow on Amazon and some great big bookshops.

X-Files Parody Comedy Book Fantasy Time-Travels Through Balkans

The next episode of XaW Files: Beyond Humanity continues to travel through the Balkans, specifically Bosnia, with this episode containing some time-travelling to a board-game analogy and human to bird shapeshifting, along with lots of comedy wordplay and lovely environmental news.

Dejan Lovren again stars as a wordplay cameo, this time inspiring a beautiful bird. I’d just like to correct the last XaW Files introduction: his inclusion does of course have something to do with the national team he plays for, as this part of the story is in the Balkans.

Chapter 5 Episode 13

‘What’s this city called?’ I asked.

‘Neum,’ replied Stella.

‘Yes, what’s its name please,’ I enquired.

‘No, it’s name is Neum,’ shot back Stella.

‘That reminds me of the Knights Who Say Ni,’ I replied, ‘which is a funny memory, but we haven’t got time for that, because were (sic) on a working vukation!’

Soon after that we were catapulted northwards back in time, to what looked like historic Bosnia.

A Real Hum-Zeta of a Start (wordplaying with humdinger)

It seemed to be somewhere in time between the old kingdoms of Zeta and Hum, as Uroš the Weak was weakening against Stjepan Vukčić Kosača.

(New update from the POP world: it looked like an early time of POP: PinkyOrangePurple)

I thought the XaW Files world must have disliked my vuk joke wordplay, which could of course have been more coarse, and sent us time-travelling back in time, like counters landing on snakes rather than ladders.

After their fantasy time-travelling battle, which didn’t happen in real history, Stjepan’s third wife Cecilie introduced herself to us. I must have still been loved up from our vowelacation in Montenegro, because I complimented her on her name’s double Is and Es, and her two Cs too.

Her Say Go Greener in Herzegovina

Cecilie returned the compliment, but said I should go greener to match the country’s forests, which would still cover fifty per-cent of the land in the twenty-first century.

I wondered if she was psychic, or if I’d brought the information in on me, and she was reading me like a book… like you are!

I said it was hard work being greener, but I would try, and I’m sure my Grey and Yellow wouldn’t mind taking more of a backseat, as they have already found it a long journey; especially Yellow, as it’s Y’s first ramble in a prominent position.

Talking of which, Skinner seemed to be becoming impatient, as he asked Cecilie if she knew how we could return to the modern XaW Files world and continue our rambling search for Marko Vukcic.

Zeta to Zenica by Lovren-like Lovely Wren

Cecilie began shapeshifting more gracefully than a greenYgrey, and within seconds she looked like a lovely wren resembling Dejan Lovren; in name only I might add if I may.


Image result for Sabine Wren

Sabine Wren of Star Wars


Cecilie was an awfully strong wren, as she carried all four of us through six centuries to modern Zenica; via Zvornik, Zavidovići and Zivinice Grad. The journey was so smooth, we even had time to catch up with a few ZZZs on the way!



The Knights Who Say Ni  are a band of knights from the comedy film Monty Python and the Holy Grail:
Stjepan Vukčić Kosača (1404–1466) was a medieval Bosnian duke that ruled a hereditary region in Hum:
Stjepan Vukčić was married three times. In 1424, he married Jelena, daughter of Balša III of Zeta (and granddaughter of his aunt, Jelena Balšić). His wife died in 1453. Two years later, he married Barbara (possibly del Balzo). She died in 1459. His final marriage, in 1460, was to a German woman named Cecilie.

Available to buy or borrow on Amazon and some great big bookshops.

Messi Victoria’s Secret Panties

Warning: this blog post contains satirical self-parody humour a-were (sic) that it offers my Negatives plenty of opportunity to demonise me. Brave or foolish, maybe both?! The self-parody exaggerates a truth: I would like to meet any or all Victoria’s Secret models, but don’t expect to!

I consider it to be in the greenYgrey middle, too left for the right, and right for the left, and not out of place on the Beeb’s Have I Got News For You, where I enjoy both Ian Hislop and Paul Merton’s satirical contributions.

The Funny Side

I was heart-warmed by the story of Lionel Messi inviting an Afghan boy to be his ball-boy, after his makeshift plastic bag Messi shirt went viral.

Photo of Murtaza in his homemade shirt

Murtaza joined a close-to-full-strength Barcelona team before their win over Al-Ahli

Then I thought, if I make some makeshift Victoria Secret panties, and wear them online, will they invite me to one of the Victoria Secret’s panty parties I’ve seen advertised?

Panties at VS






There Was A Time when it would have been a Guns N’ Roses t-shirt or Leeds United football shirt, but AAW-WOW have been paramount in my mind the last decade of greenYgreying, and the POPolution more recently. The Victoria’s Secret angels were like AAW-WOW becoming a reality!

One idea I had for performance self-parody was to go and demonstrate outside my local Victoria’s Secret store: calling for it to be bigger!

I have never got around to performing it, or been inside the store… or even passed it for ages!!

The Serious Positives

The serious positives for me I extrapolate from the above comedy, is that Messi and the Afghan boy’s story are a good meeting of what I presume are different religions, probably both deriving from the Middle-East where the meeting took place, although Messi and the boy are both from a lot west and east of there, showing I can look on the positives of such events, rather than being a double negative.

Victoria’s Secret models are a multi-ethnic group, and all beautiful. The models are also probably from multiple cultures, but they are united under the one Victoria’s Secret umbrella culture.


However, while they are all beautiful, and I expect everybody will have their own tastes as to which is most beautiful, and I don’t expect any to fancy or desire me, I prefer the white blonde ones, and would feel more comfortable with them; that’s not racist, it’s personal taste; especially after the last twenty years of multicultural fascism that have led to heightened racial tensions, and some white girls scared to say no because they fear being called racist… and my fellow distant-origins-Leeds-United fan and Gladiator star Russell Crowe’s experiences with Azealia Banks!

The difference between a blonde and a brunette for me is that if I was with a brunette I might still be thinking-about/missing blondes, whereas if I was with a blonde I probably wouldn’t be thinking-about/missing brunettes! I know it’s only hair, and not that important, but blonde hair can brighten the day for a someone who thinks they’re bipolar like me… especially through the often greenYgrey winter!

I know you can’t give me what I really really want for Christmas, but the next best thing would be for you to buy my book… but only if you really really want to, as otherwise it’s a waste of valuable paper!

Available to buy or borrow on Amazon and some great big bookshops.